Greetings of peace,
After the events unfolded in Norway a week ago, I have been looking inwardly at my own sense and sensibilities. All through the middle of last week I felt a palpable emotional pressure building in me, and feeling of something working towards a crescendo. This was both a familiar and unfamiliar sensation. I didn’t recognize the familiar bit till Saturday afternoon, the day after the violent and tragic events in Norway occurred, and it was all over media. The unfamiliar part was my attempt to discern what I felt was ‘wrong’ with me in the days before the shootings. I was experiencing exhaustion and lethargy, disorientation, mild depression, crankiness, and a general sense of ‘impendingness’. What was going on with me? I consulted my chart and transits, I looked outwardly at my present circumstances, searching for the location of the fear and discomfort. I had not felt this weird in ages.
When I awoke on Saturday morning, I felt like the balloon had popped, or the weight had lifted. The morning felt easy, open and airy. I didn’t turn on the computer and see the headlines till after breakfast, and then sat there a bit stunned as I took in what had happened. As my heart opened, I remembered how I’d felt all week, and as the day progressed, I also remembered the powerful experiences I had just prior to the event now known as ‘9/11’. I had been on a retreat at the time, and was staying at a place that was ‘off the grid’ on the slopes of Mt.Shasta, California. In the early morning hours on Sunday the 9th and Monday the 10th, I was awakened…I seem to remember 3am. As I lay there wondering why I was awake, I could feel that my cheeks were damp. Apparently I had been crying in my sleep. I got up both mornings, and made my way to the yurt to use the bathroom and try to understand why I’d been crying. When I woke the second morning, Monday, I felt the need for some inspiration and insight. I discovered a small bookcase behind the toilet…bathroom library I suppose, and one book in particular called to me. Its title was “Silence of the Heart- Reflections of the Christ Mind” by Paul Ferrini. As I thumbed through it, reading bits and pieces, I felt a deep comfort replace the unsettledness in my chest and belly. Gradually, uncertainty gave way to peace and tranquillity. I no longer felt any concern of what I was experiencing earlier, or what it might mean.
When the phone rang at 7:30am PST on Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, and my partner Faith was relaying to me the events as described over the phone to her from her friend Kevin in Virginia, I knew then what the tears in Mt.Shasta had meant. I knew what finding the book was for, and I knew that was unfolding was all about. As the shockwaves spread through the collective planetary awareness, I felt impeccably calm and certain. Of what I was certain of was indescribable. It was like I had been shown the truth behind the curtain, and it didn’t frighten or concern me at all. Although great grief and great outrage boiled throughout the American psyche, and although I saw how this was milked and manipulated for all it was worth, I still felt calm and certain. Indescribable, like I said.
Ten years later, the shockwaves only seem to be gathering in intensity. Lots of little 9/11’s happen every day, every week. Every so often a larger shock goes off, like the staccato strike of tympani in an orchestra. The pressure keeps building in the pipeline, and I watch with a mixture of curiosity and incredulity at how friends and strangers deal with it. The shockwaves are not confined to the events of the larger world, but are the world, solar system and galaxy itself. More earthquakes and volcanoes are happening than at any other time in modern record-keeping, and it grows exponentially. There are signs and wonders everywhere in evidence. Miracles and misery, side-by-side, and we keep on going, keep on hoping. However, hoping is a symptom of dissatisfaction with the present moment, and depends on ‘it’ll be better in the future, once everything is fixed just the way I want it to look’, or something like that. Who or what is going to fix it; Ascended Masters, Messiahs and Space people? That’s just more giving of your power away to external authorities. That is a false salvation.
Since my last birthday, at the end of June, I have been going through an initiation of sorts. Some of what got laid aside during the past seven years has come back to me renewed and refreshed. The inner dialogue is reawakening with a new strength and clarity. The astrologer in me wants to credit the transits of Pluto and Uranus, but I feel that attributing it to Spirit is more accurate. Now I feel a new commitment to finding and arriving into my ‘being’ self, rather than playing the seeking game any longer. For almost a week now, during my dreamtime and in the early morning hours when half-awake, I was hearing the voice of the Master Yeshua (the Christ), gently talking. In dreams it was as if I was just one person in a small group sitting around a grove, while He spoke about many things. These ‘conversations’ have formed the basis of the transmission in this Newsletter, “Radical Faith”.
Now we’re only a month and a few days away from the 10 year anniversary of 9/11, and so much has changed. Whatever happens next and no matter where we are on this planet, we will all experience it together. Strength in numbers ya know!
I am beginning the process of letting go of the many philosophies and positions I’ve acquired in the course of 50-odd years, and along with that quite a few books, old paraphernalia and recording of readings, and some real old dead-weight baggage. We gotta travel Light these days! Less will be more, and the last shall be first, etc., etc.
Cultivating beginner’s mind, and embracing an attitude of ‘I don’t know’ is part of my current meditations. Solitude is important as well, and although I am part of a partnership, I have come to see that relationships are a tool for our consciousness to either wake up (and stay awake) or go back to sleep again. It is necessary to take ourselves up to the mountain (or woods, or sea, or closet) and hook up with our mojo. Otherwise, we end up feeling diffused and confused.
This August-September will be very interesting. Watch for the next edition of Pure Divine Love soon…it won’t be long!